Barrage of memories from capoeira

Holy shit. I went onto facebook and just looked at my pictures of when I used to play capoeira, I had comopletley stopped playing capoeira. Its like I had almost forgotten about it all. Just looking at the pictures on it had me like, wooosh. Like an oh shyt what the hell is this moment. I don’t really know what the hell this is. Is this like a realization that, hey look here, this what you have accepted and allowed yourself to be. Its like I had forgiven myself for capoeira itself, but holy shit. I mean holy shit. It was really a woosh. I don’t know if this is a personality demon or its me actually looking at what i have accepted and allowed. This strange clarity on the upper part of my body came over me. It was like a calmness. I don’t know if this calmness had to do with me suppressing capoeira and then becoming aware of it again. I had just stopped and moved on. Heh its like the obsessive suppressive traits that I allowed myself to live. At this moment as I am typing this sentence my breathing is getting heavier like its suppressing it. I think this is me, the me I accepted and allowed me to be. Its like, I am aware of what is for me to do, to actually realize myself so within that I just stopped capoeira, and now BOOM. I mean wow, its kind of cool to realize what I have accepted myself to just suppress. I mean I must have really suppressed it if it rushed like that. I hadn’t realized how big a part capoeira was about my life after I had realized that I had defined myself and my life according to capoeira. That’s the way I have allowed myself to exist. Just obsess and then suppress. Its ironic the way I have allowed myself to become. For years about three years I had dedicated myself to capoeira but I was just looking for myself. I was only looking for myself. I was introduced to capoeira pretty soon after I had gotten out of a pretty rough ending of a relationship that I was in for a couple years. Its like, I did not want to go to another person, so I found a way to express myself in a way. There are so many memories, its strange though its not like how it used to be, thoughts becoming quick and massive, its more like a calm that I have while being reminded about this. I don’t know what it is, it could be that I am aware from experience of thoughts flying around. But man what woosh that was. I was just reading about the global banking collapse that’s about to happen soon, wanted to share, looked on facebook saw Bernards blog group, saw my profile picture, which was a capoeira picture and then, woosh. I mean, it was such a woosh. Every picture that I saw just brought back memories, each and every picture. Its pretty interesting. And just realizing that I am not actually what I am being reminded of and knowing that I am here but have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the memories and past, and remaining here in breath is pretty interesting. Its like the falls that I have I learned from. Its like I am ready, like im just ready to face myself. It could just also be that I had only looked at the ‘negative’ experiences of capoeira that I have had and did not look at the ‘positive’ experiences of capoeira that I have had. I like, separated myself a bunch of ways, defining myself according to capoeira, then splitting capoeira into positive and negative experiences. It is so strange, everything. Everything even the things that I had thought was of myself, when I actually look at it, it was actually me just looking for myself with out even looking at myself. Its so simple yet I just continued to make things complicated. This complexity that I accept within me. But being aware of myself here is much much less complicated than going to look for myself within and as a deluded illusion. Although being aware of myself here I really see what the hell I have allowed within me and sometimes have some trouble, shit, looking for myself somewhere else I would be in something that I cant conjure up, just unawareness. I assume that what I am experiencing now is appreciation of myself here. Its like an appreciation of breathing. I know that there is a helluva lot that I haven’t faced yet but I have myself. I have myself.

Breath

Today I had finally just left. I have really just been in my room for a hell of a long time. I had read something about people who just stay in their rooms all day without being out in the world. I had experienced a hell of a lot of movements just from sitting in my room all day. everyday. Just being n my room. applying myself then going outside for a little while then comming back to my house back to the room, and just 'existing'. I got sick of being in my house just left, to my school that I had used as an excuse to go outside. I really had no reasoin to be outside. I had no reason to participate in anything, I mean just knowing that everything is not what it seems just gives me no reason to be outside. if i want to change anything i gotta change mysefl and within this i had made the idea of staying in my room to change mysefl which really did do something to me but not the something taht i had intended. It kind of got me going to a state of crazy. I had manifestations on me, like pains even a hemorrhoid and then my mind was really fucking with me, i had become really emotional and i just was off. then when I read the hitler post about hemorroids an oh shit moment came up and I just stopped. I stopped. Am stopping as well, what i had allowed myself to become, I hadnt eaten as much either. I dont know what the hell ws up within me. I had just became this obsessive being in a personality. When going out today it ffelt like a whoah. its like i just came out of a prison ceell, that waws how i looked at it but thats what i had accepted adn allowed my room to become. A prison ceell for myself within and as my own accepted and allowed prison cell within and as the mind. i had enjoyed myself today outside. I really felt kind of free. It just was like a relief, Lol, i had said to myself 'in the mind' never again in the room. I understand now being looked in my room away from the world is not the way to go. I separated mysefl from the world and myself. It was kind of strage, went to school, went to eat just enjoyed being outside, and then i knida didnt want to go home and i was kind of stuck at the train station wondering whethere or not to continue my enjoyment or go home and apply myself. It was within that moment I had allowed myself to become entrapped in thoughts. I kept saying what if I now decide to go back outside, will it be self dishonest, then nahh, its me enjoying myself, then another thought came up, that its self dishonest to not go home and apply mysefl. Then i had realized that I had feared going back home. I feared the way i had experienced mysefl while staying in the room all the time. Its strange when i experience something that i dont like or that makes me uncomfortable, i would actually become afraid of the moment, the memory and then define something that relates to the memory and then be afraid of the relationship that I had created within the memory and what I had allowed mysefl to relate it to. Its like this defense mechanism that I had created. to protect me from experiencing 'bad' experiences. I guesss this is where my obsess supress personality traits come from. I am starting to see mysefl a little more clearly now, where the hell, how the hell i am doing things although i am still pretty cloudy within my sight of myself but ill take it slow.

Today I had realized that, while i was outside in manhattan, taht I am pretty controlled by money and how much moeny i have. I didnt realizes how i spent money so often and enjoyed spending it. Itrs pretty intersting because my mother also used to tell me why do i always get money then spend it all right away. I had always liked to spend money, I was really addicted to money for what I had believed for it to do. I believed if I have money i can do what I want. I defined mysefl according to how much money i have. I defined my expression of mysefl according to how much money i have. I defined what I am able to do by ho much money i have. I defined what I do according to how much money i have. Its like when i have money. GOTTA SPEND GOTTA SPEND. Go spend go spend. Its strange, even now when i dont have as many desires as I used to regarding materials, I still continue to just spend money as soon as I get it, assuming that I need something. For me now it is survival things. Things I have a hunch that I will most likely need or can be assited by when things start to get kind of crazy because i know that the dollar is gone. Once that little imaginary note goes away, yea i dont know what it will be like if anything will actually go RIDICULOUSLY crazy but i want to be prepared. I mean look at blackouts, When there was a blackout here ppl went crazy. I mean shit imagine the dollar going out for a moment. I wouldnt want to be unprepared for that but that is no excuse to exist within and as the obsession over spending money on survival things. Its strange because i keep on seeing things that can prove to be so dam beneficial, but its like i have been through this before but its just a different topic. Always consuming consuming and then get tired of it, leave it and move on to another thing. Its a little differnt here because i am actually applying the things that i learn about survival but that is still no excuse, no self comprimise. An obession is an obsession.

Pokemon Song, Obsession, facing me

I have limited myself to the thoughts of the pokemon song. When the song first came up, I was very anxious to release it from myself. Then when I saw that it wasnt going away I figured well, maybe its that I have to just forgive everything that I know about pokemon. I had looked at my old pokemon book startegie guide for for a gameboy game and looked at what i could remember about pokemon, there are about 200 or more pokemon that I can remember. I had emotionally reacted saying this is ridiculous, all of this, I had not wanted to do it. I wanted an easier, simpler way to do it. I did not want to do it, I whined and complained for that i felt I 'had' to do it. It had felt like a chore. I wanted to forgive other points but the pokemon song had kept on playing. I had obsessed over the song and then created a habit of forgiving myself for the song. I even made a habit of letting the song just play in my head, having it control me. This has been going on for a while. I have been trying to apply myself for points but just , keep on geetting circled back to where I am.
I had wondered how this happend I mean, I had fun in the beginging, even though what I forgave myself mostly was fears, I can remember forgiving for other points as well, but it all started while I was at school. I was suffering/out of movement commission from an ankle injury at the time when I started applying self forgiveness. I had tried it. I said i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts feelings and emotions. Then I tried some more, I had wonted thoughts to stop. So then I had become obsessed over applying self forgiveness. I would sit, just sit in the house for hours and hours just writing self forgiveness.
Then I would make lists of forgivenesses to do and then not do them, I did not get them done in the moment because of the vastness that i had seen within what I had written, I just get confused with how to apply myself for whole sheet of forgiveness a just keep applying for that sheet, Maybe i just fea, no I fear losing out on forgiving something else. I fear losing out on forgiving something simpler. I tend to make things complicated. I have made things complicated for my whole life. I dont really understand what is absolute specificity within simplicity.
What the hell is complexity? I assume that this is what keeps me looping around and around in these constant cycles. I have always been shown how to do things, always given exmples, help and things, a form of dependency that I have always exist in. I have realized that about myself while falling and looping, always looking for a sign or something and I keep on getting pains and strange feelings, forinstance I have this pulsating point spot on my left scapula, thats limitation, I wouild assume that I am seriously limiting myself by sitting in this loop and then getting caught in it again and again. This loop actually started before the pokemon song.
I would apply self forgiveness, get excited that I had forgiven a point of myself, then use that excitedment to go outside. And then I would fall, wonder what happened. And this repeated for a while. This is also while I was on vacation from school and just stayed inside all day in my room and just applyed self forgiveness. I completely dropped my life. I stopped playing capoeira, stopped playing video games, stopped watching movies, and it was cool, but when i started staying home all day, yeah thats when it started getting uncool. I would just sit, watch desteni videos, then apply self forgiveness, watch desteni videos, apply self forgiveness. This actually is how I was before starting self forgiveness. I would exist within a pattern. Just a pattern that I would become comfortable with. then i would just live this pattern. I mean all I see reallly now is just patterns, It kinda bothers me to see it and not see at the same time. Its like I can see that I am in it, but i cant see how, or even how specifically to get out of this, these patterns. I had even created a pattern with self forgiveness. Its like i am living in circles I am frikin aware of it, shit.
And i know all this pain on my body is telling me that hey, You Are Fucking With Yourself, STOP THAT SHIT.
Its like it just compounded and i know its just something frikin simple, I had always missed the point of something. That one little point that makes everything. I allowed myself to have fragile foundation when applying self forgiveness.
I started like an 'ok ill try this, see what happens' then I would experience a feeling. It felt nice. It really did feel like a release. I had dedicated myself to stopping thoughts but within this I completely abdicated my life that i had before desteni. Actually, that is pattern of mine too. When my life isnt working out I would find something new and just leave how my life was before i found that something and then delve into that new something and obsess over it for that I realized that I wasnt very fond or even liked the way my life was prior.
It started with my exgirlfriend Lina. It was a bad experience for me. I had done a lot of bad things within that relatioonship, and i had also become obessed over the relationship. Well I guess it didnt start with the relationship since I had become obsessed over hte relationship that means I had walked within that Pattern of Obsession for my whole life.
I obsessed over everything, I mean fucking everything. Its strange because i can remember my mother telling me that I obsess over everything that I do,and that it was both beneficial and non beneficial good and bad, because i would become narrow minded and just forget about everything and then focus on my obsession untill something happens. This is my biggest obstacle that i must face. This pattern of Obsession. I just keep getting obsessed over things. Even little things. Its somehting else, because i dont want to become obsessed over releasing myself from my patterns of obsessions. I also have this attention thing, If I see something that I like, something interesting, i just go, become glued to it. And this i can see is very deep because even little things would attract my attention. Its like polarity construct that I live in, I am either obsessed or I get distracted easily.
Its strange, kind of funny because i was reminded that i was vaccinated when I was younger and that i was given too much at one time, My mother told me that i had a seizure from the vaccinations.
I had blamed the vaccinations for my condition of myself now but I know that is self dishonest.
Whether or not I have been vaccinated does not matter because I am aware of my participations.
This is what I have to face but its like, hard, to move cause its like will i be obsessed or will i be distracted...., and that in itself is an expectation, a future projection within fear.
I mean this is something else.
This me facing me. I will not just allow myself to xist like this.How could live like this? Its just insane. I realize separating myself from who i have become is just another self dishonest act that leave me in a loopdy loop. I have to accept me as who I am here and direct me as the awareness of me with forgiveness.

New Yorkers

I have lived in New York all My life. I constantly judged New Yorkers, and the judgements varied for that almost every culture that exist is here in new york. I judged new yorkers as being unaware of thoughts feeling and emotions when realizing that woah, it is really just thoughts
could be some surpressions that I have towards New Yorkers, or people in general.

Well, I have looked at new yorkers as very angry, yet open. Expressive and at the same time surpressive to what is allowed here. I have taken pride in being from new york. I have labeled myself as a New Yorker. I had been proud to be in a city that has various types of people. I have taken pride in being from brooklyn. I even taken pride in saying the word brooklyn because thats where i am 'from'. There were also many times when I would just hate this place, because everyone is angry about something. Things are expensive and its all about finding something that is cheaper. When in the city and seeing the various finacial classes I would be surprised, sometimes disgusted at how rich people could be and that they are separate from people who are not rich like they are. I had judged new yorkers and people in general according to how much money they have and the way they portray themselves with their monies.

I have defined myself according to a label, a name of where i live. I assumed that because i was born here in New York, that i am of new york. I defined myself according to the Name of Brooklyn New York. I allowed myself to define myself according to personality traits of being from new york, actually, the pride from being from new york is the personality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a New Yorker.

I forgive myself that I have accetped and allowed myself to have defined myself as a label as a new yorkder.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that I am of New York.
I forgive myself that I have accpted and allowed myself to have taken Pride in being a new yorker.

I forgive myself that i ahve accepted and allowed myself to have existed as the ego of the mind by taking pride within and as being a new yorker. being satisfied within and as a label that i had placed on myself.

I forgive mYself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken pride in being from brooklyn.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself as being from brooklyn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i actually am this label that I have created about being from and of Brooklyn.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to Pride of being defined by a label.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken pride in defining myself according to the borough that i was born it.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have enslaved myself to a label, limiting me to this label of being a new yorker form brooklyn.

I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to have defined myself as different and special within and as the comparison to other beings becuase i am from new york.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because i live in and was born in new york that I am special

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself as individual for that I have pride within my label that I had placedmyself as a new yorker.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken pride within my enslavement to my illusion that i created by defining myself according to an Idea that someone created when labeling where i live as new york.

I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to have enslaved myself to an idea of new york.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have taken pride in growing iup in new york.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if i grew up in new york that I would be different than other beings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to having grown up in brooklyn new york.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to the moments when i had experienced myself 'living' in new york in brooklyn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to the characteristics that i had adopted while living in new york, while living in brooklyn.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have judged myself for being a new yorker and within that judgement i had compared myself to other people because i grew up in a place like new york.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to construct of pride.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the construct of pride to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have existed within and as satisfaction within the label i had deemed myself as by taking pride for it, enslaving myself to pride.

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that this pride that i have for being in new york and from new york, is jst me accepting myself as enslaved to a label, me enslaving myself to limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself form myself by defining myself according to the city I was born in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separted myself from myself by defining myself according to the construct of pride for being from new york.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take pride in the style of living in new york.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken pride in new york and being from new york for that it is diverse in its population.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mself to have defined myself according to the looks and expressoins of the people that live in new york, within and as my definition of diversity.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to diversity amongst beings in stead of realizing myself as myself and not hte expressins of other bieing who live in new york.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken pride in the expressions of other beings who live in new york and then defined myself according to those expressions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to the expressions of the other beings who live in new york.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from myself by defining myself accordig to the diversity of expressions that exist in new york.

I forgive myself that i ahave accepted and allowed myself to have defined my expression of myself as the expressions of beings that live in new york, completely ignoring myself as my own self expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as aself ignorance by ignoring myself and myexpression of myself by defining myself according to the expressions of beings who live in new york and taking pride of that.

I forgve myself that i have not allowed myself to realizes that by defining myself according to the expressions of beings that also live in new york i am enslaving myself to thos e expressions and becoming dependent on their expressions within the existence of ignoring myself as my self expression.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become enslaved to dependency to the expressions of New Yorkers.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from myself by being dependent to the expressions of new yorkers, not realizing that what I am seeing while looking at new yorkders is what exist in me.

I am my self expression as MYSELF.
I am not Defined by the city I was Born in.
I am not defined by being from new york.
I express me as Me. As the expression of Myself, not the expression of new yorkers and the idea of New York
I am here as my Self Expression.



"I judged new yorkers as being unaware of thoughts feeling and emotions"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge new yorkers as being unaware of thoughts feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the expressions of new yorkders by assuming that they are of unawareness of themselves.

I forgiv e myelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from new yorkers by defining myself as aware of thoughts feelings and emotions and then within that judging new yorkers as unaware of their thoughts feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined being self aware, as that of comparing myself to other being, to new yorkers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself as the ego of the mind by judging mysself as self aware and then judging new yorkers as self unaware.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as self deception by believeing that if i exist within and aas judgement to myself by deeming myself as self aware, then that means that the beings that i see in new york are self unaware.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self awareness exist within and as comparison and judgement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself and my expression of myself to new yorkders.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to this comparisson to new yorkers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare self awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself awareness to new yorkers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been unaware of myself by comparing my self awareness to that of the self awareness of new yorkers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysself to have existed within and as self dishonesty for that I had defined myself according to the awarnesses of other beings that live in new york.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that self awareness is of awareness of MYSELF, not of judgement or comparisson of other beings being aware of themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to comparison, according to the ego of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become enslaved to the ego of the mind within and as the assumption of self awareness during the moments when i had compared myself awareness to that of the self awareness of new yorkerrs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined awareness of other beings and their expressions as self awareness.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize during the moments of comparisson, that Self awareness is being aware of myself here, as all as me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am one and equal to beings, one and equal to new yorkers and that comparing myself to them is of separation for that it allows me to ignore myself and the new yorkers that are me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on the awareness of other beings instead of focusing on myself here, within and as Self awareness. Awareness of what I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me here.

Self Corrective Action:
The Only Awareness that exist is Self Awareness.
Comparing myself Is of the mind.
Awareness cannot be compared because awareness is of self, self cannot be compared to self.
I am Self Awareness as the awareness of what I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me here.
If comoparison exist. Stop, breathe, Im here, forgive. live.

"I have looked at new yorkers as very angry, yet open. Expressive and at the same time surpressive to what is allowed here. "

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged new yorkers as very angry.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have judged new yorkers as angry and have been unable to seee that by judgeing new yorkers as angry, is becuase that anger exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myeself to, when seeing myself within other beings, judge them for being that way and not seeing that I am actually seeing me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as judgement to myself by judging other beings as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the enslavement to the ego of the mind by judging myself by judging new yorkers as me as angry.
I forgive myself that Ihave accepted and allowed anger to exist within and ass me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have been unable to see the anger that exist within and as me and only be able to see by seeing it through other beings, through new yorkers.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blind to myself and express that blindness within and as judgement to new yorkers.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and aas self judgement by judging new yorkers as angry, when i am judging myself for being angry.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have enslaved myself to the mind by exerting myself outside of myself by only being able to see myself within and as judgements to other beings instead of being able to see myself as myself here as me. As what i have accepted and allowed myself to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have deemed new yorkers as open.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have judged new yorkers as open.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged the expression of new yorkers as open.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined openess as something that is need to be seen within and as other beings, wthin and as New yorkers.
I forgive myself that ihave accpted and allowed myself to have become dependent on the ego of the mind in order to see where openess exist outside of me, being unable to see the openess that exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself form opennes by defining it as the expression of new yorkers.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from myself by deeming openess as separate from me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be blind to myslf by not realized that i am openness.

I am openness.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have judged new yorkers as expressive yet still surpressive to what is accepted and allowed here in existence.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have been unaware that I was seeing myself within and as this judgement towards new yorkers.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have had to judge new yorkers in order to see my expression of myself within and as expression within surpression.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as shame for having to look within judgement towards new yorkders to see what i have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me instead of existing within and as appreciation for assisting and supporting me to assist and support myself to see what I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowd myeself to separate from myself by existing within and as shame.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed shame for being assisted and supported by new yorkers to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be enslaved to shame, which enslaves me to the mind, to the ego.
I forgive myself that Ihave accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for judging new yorkers and seeing myself within and as new yorkers.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unable to realize that when seeing something that exist within and as another being, within and as new yorkers, it exist within and as me, for that what I see, is me.

I am not shame.
Shame Is of mind. Iam not enslaved as a slave to the mind. I direct me equal and one to the mind.
I appreciate me supporting me as New Yorkers showing me what I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as self expression within self surpression.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself by expressing myself within and as boundaries to what i have accepted and allowed myself to exist as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that self expression can exist within and as self surppression.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to surpress myself to what i have accepted and allowed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowd myeself to have decieved myself by beliveing that i can experess myself by suppressing myself within what I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have existed within and as limitation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed limitaion to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as an expression that is conditional to the limits that I had placed upon it by only allowing my expression to go a certain extent to not affect or influence what i have accepted and allowed to exist within and as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to express myself within and as fear, fear of what i have accepted and allowed within and as existence, rules, laws regulations, limits.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have supressed myself within and as fear of my acceptances and allowances such as rules laws regulations and limits and then using that fear as a boundary to how far my expression can go.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by fear of what I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as myself and this my existence.
i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place boundaries upon myself as mys self expression according to fear of laws rules and regulaitons and limitaions.
I forgive myself taht I have accepted and allowed myself to enslave myself by suppressing myself to fear of my acceptances and alloweances and letting it control me and how I express myself.
I forgive myself that Ihave accepted and allowed myself to fear myself by fearing what Ihave accepted and allowed to exist within and as me and within and as existence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be subjigated to laws rules regulations and limits within defining my expression according to those acceptances and allowances.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unable to just express myself.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that these boundaries that Exist within me exist because of me, because i put them there.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed boundaries of my expressoin of myself to exist within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from these boundaries by existing within and as inferiority towards them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as inferiority to what I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as, which is my own creation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged what I have accepted and allowed to exist by fearing what i have accepted and allowed to exist within and as the limitation boundaries that I had placed upon myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the boundaries that i had accepted and allowed to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that Ihave accepted and allowed fear to direct my expression of myself.
I forgive myself that I hav accepted and allowed myself to be unable to direct myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my expression of myself to be directed by fear of the boundaries that i have accepted and allowed to exist as laws rules and regulaitons, and limitations.
i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what Ihave accepted and allowed to exist by fearing what i have accepted and allowed to exist as laws rules and regulations adn limitations.
I forgive myself taht I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by rules regulations and laws and limitations by defining my expression of myself according to those rules regulations laws and limitations.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to direct myself as myself within and as what I havve accepted and allowed myself to exist within and and as , as laws rules and regulations and limitations which in fact, are all ideas created to surpress beings form expressing themselves.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have been unable to direct myself within and as myself by fearing mysself within fearing what i have accepted and allowed, as rules regulations laws and limitations.
i forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am one and equeal to what I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as, and that I move as what I have accepted and allowed, as self acceptance, then releasing myself from what i have accepted and allowed,not being enslaved by it. Moving within and as it, directing me as it.

I am one and equal to what I have accepted and allowed.
I am one and equal to Laws, rules and regulations, and limitations.
To fear these existences and then attempt to express myself within and as this fear is of separation to myself by suppressing myself according to accepted and allowed boundaries within and as fear.
I am My Expression of myself.
My Expression of myself has no limits, the only limits that exist is the limits that i accept and allow to exist which is of separation of myself.
I am my expression of myself and I direct me as myself one and equal to what I have accepted and allowed and I release myself from all separtaions that I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me.
This existence portrays what I accept and allow within and as me.
Fearing it if Fearing myself.
Fearing Myself, enslaving myself to fear.
I move as me, not directed by fear.
I Direct me as my expression of me.
I stop, breathe, Im here, Forgive , live.


Phonetics of 'Brooklyn"

I forgive myself that Ihave accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to the phonetics of Brooklyn.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when hearing and saying the name word Brooklyn, feel a sense of pride.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the feeling that I get when staying brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the feeling of pride when saying and hearing the word brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a relationship to the Sounds of the word Brooklyn.
I forgive myself taht I have accepted and allowed myself to when heaering the phonetics of the word Brooklyn, related the sounds to memories that I have of the word Brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined mysself according to the nostalgia feeling that I get from hearing and saying the word brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say holy shit when realizing how much of a relationship i have created with brooklyn and the phonetics of the name Brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have within and as the phonetics of brooklyn, define my existence according to to memories that I have of brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to the past that I have experinced regarding the pride and culture of brooklyn and access those memories within and as the word Brooklyn adn its Phonetics.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to when Heaering the word Brooklyn, be reminded of the Mos def song when he said " Whea Brooklyn, what."
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become addicted to saying whea brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have sucmb to the addiction of saying whea brooklyn, becuase i had taken pride in being from brooklyn and when i look around all I see is brooklyn and when saying whea brooklyn i see it as everywhere.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined miy surroundings as a name, as Brooklyn, instead of seeing it as it is as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become addicted to the brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to hearing people cahnt. BROOKLYN BROOKLYN.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel proud of myself as a being from brooklyn when hearing beings chant BROOKLYN BROOKLYN.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been entranced by the resonateing sound of Brooklyn when being chanted by a crowd of people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken pride of being from brooklyn when seeing that other people express pride for being from brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a realationshiop to the sounds of the word Brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a relationship to beings that have a connection to Brooklyn.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to myself saying the word brooklyn with an accent.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to the way I sound when i say the word brookllyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given a definition to the sounds of the word brooklyn instead of realizing that the sounds of brooklyn are sounds that are one and equal to me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from the phonetics of brooklyn by defining myself according to the memories that I get while saying and heaering the word brooklyn.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the sound of the Brook, in brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become entranced to the sound of the Brook, in brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become addicted to the phonetic sound of the Br, In brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become addicted to the sound of the decending tone of the lyn in brooklyn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become addicted to the tonalities from the phonetics of the word brooklyn.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from the pohnetics of the word brooklyn by becoming addicted to it within and as pride.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to the ego of the mind by taking pride of the phonetics of brooklyn.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined the phonetics of brooklyn as special because that is where i was born.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from the sound resonance of the word brooklyn by becoming addicted to the tonalities and the phonetics of the word brooklyn.

I am one and equal to the tonalities of the word Brooklyn.
By becoming addicted to it and labeling myself according to that addiction is me separating myself from myself by defining myself according to that addiction.
I am Here as myself as the tonalities of the word brooklyn.
Pride of a label is enslavement.
I am here as Myself, I am not a label of Brooklyn and I am not defined by the illusion of the pride of enslavement to that label.

Self Corrective action:
When a feeling of Nostalgia and pride regarding brooklyn comes up.
STOP. BREATHE. I AM HERE. SELF DIRECT. FORGIVE. LIVE.

Dream

I ve started mucle communication in Structural Resonance Alignment Training and now I have become nervous about the next lesson. Im a little nervous about the muscle testing itself. I am afriad that it will difficult for me because of my influence to the muscle. I should have practiced more before asking questions. I always become nervous before asking a question that I want know know the answer to. I keep on forgetting to remeber how to ask questions. I continue to go to the forum to see if new things are up. It has become a habit that slowed down but it still exists, out of fear of loss, fear of missing something, missing out on somethings, being left behind. I fear being left behind, Fear of being left alone. I dont like to be left alone. I dont like being alone. I desire company.. I feel better when I am around other people. I had always liked being around other people. Going to see friends, talk to them hang out, be aroiund friends, talk and laugh. Enjoy eachothers company. I miss my friends. I want to talk to someone. I have not spoken to my friends in a long time. I had chosen not to see my friends because of this process, I had saw that there were self interested goals that I had so I just stopped hanging out. I actually enjoyed hanging out with people. I surpressed my fear of being alone, I had surpressed my feelings towards my friends. I was able to express myself when I was around my friends. When I weoiuld be with them i would feel comfortable in their company. I had really just enjoyed their company. I always surpress my feelings about them and then become blind to them. I really just want to talk to them just to say hi. I had forced myself to isolate myself form my friends so that I dont remain attached to a relationship with them. I allowed myself to fear being around my friends for that i feared allowing myself to be dependant on my friends for company, for enjoyment.
I had isolated myself form them because they play video games and watch tv and movies and talk of fantasy things. Yet because of that i assumed dthat they would influence me and that it is not going to do anygood to stop what is going on in world. I had judged them. I judged them. And then Separated myself from them, even though i enjoy their company. I regret judging them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myfriends out of judgement of their expression.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysef to have juedged my friends.
I forgive myself that I have accpted and allowed myself to have stripped myself away from my friends, beliving that it is the right thing to do when I actually have an attachment to them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to surpress my feelings towards myfriends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to surpress myself within feelings towards my friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have only bbeen able to express myself comfortably when i am around my friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have depended on the company of my friends in order to express myself comfortably.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have regretted separating myself from my friends because of judgments .
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from myfriends because of fear of being influenced.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from my friends for that I feared and believed that by me participating within and as a friendship with them that i would be participating within and as the separation that exist.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear bing alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on company because of the feaer of being alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to beings that keep me company.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cant exist withouit being around someone.
I forgive myself that I have accpted and allowed myhself to have surpressed theis feeling of needing to be around someone to exist.
I Forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed mself to have defined myself according to needing someone to be around me so that i can exist.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined my existence according to being around people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on the company of my friends so that i can express myself within and as enjoyment with their company.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysef to have become enslaved to the company of my friends by depending on their company.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have enslaved myself to other people by depending on their company.
I forgivee myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, instead of face the feelings that i had, i surpressed them within me, and then forgotten about them, not reallizing thati still have feelings towards my friends.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to regret having feelings for my friends.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed mself to have judged the feelings that i have for my friends as bad.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself form the feeligs that i have for my friends by judging them, when it is I who have allowed these feelings to exist, I am these feelings for that i have accepted and allowed them to become.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have existed in a state of lonlienss.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret being in a state of lonliness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for being in a state of lonliness when it is acutally me expressing myself as what i have accepted and allowed myself to exist as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have definded my self as lonliness.
I forgive myself that I have accceptd and allowed myself to fear being lonly.
I forgivem myself that i have accpeted and allowed myself to when not in the compnay of other beings, deifine myself as lonely.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become dependent on the company of beings so that i dont have to be alone and feel lonely.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to regret dependency on other beings to fulfill my fear of being alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for my dependency on other bings to fulfill my fear of being alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from myself by judging myself for being dependent on other beings, to fulfill my feaer of being alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become depedent on my friends.
I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that if I am dependent on my friends i am actually saying that i am enslaved to my friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to exist within comopany.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to the moments when i was in the company of my friends. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the feelings that I had while around my friends.
I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to believe that the enjoyment of myself that I experienced was because of my friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self enjoyment according to being around my frieinds.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined enjoyment of myself, as dependent on being around my friends.
I forgive myself that ihave accepted and allowed mysefl to belive that i can only enjoy myself when within the company of my friends, abdicatin myself to the depenency of the company of my friends within and a as the belief system that I Need my friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have belived that self enjoyment requires company of other beings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am not able to express myself if I am not around my friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cant express myself as myself if I am not around beings who can relate to my expression of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to the comparisson to the exression of myself to my frinds, to other beings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have becom dependent on the ego of the mind by comoparing my expression of myslf to my friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to emotinoal ties that I had created between myself and my frinds.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed these emotions for myfriends to manifest within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become afraid of facing my emotions that I had for my friends by surpressing them in sid of me.
I forgive myself that I have accpted anad allowed myself to surpress emotions inside of me instead of facing them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to friends, by fearing lossing my friends for that if i lose my friends, I lose myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to the fear of lossing my friends.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to belive that if I dont have friends ill lose myself.
I forgive myself thatI have accepted and allowed myself to become enslaved to the mind by beliving that i cannot exist alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and llowed myself to fear existing alone.
I forgive myself that i have accpeted and allowed the fear of lossing my friends to exist in me.

Self Enjoyment is not of dependency towards other beings.
It is me enjoying me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined self enjoyment as hanging out with my friends on the boardwalk.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself as moments expressed while on the boardwalk with friends enjoying myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined self enjoyment as giong to my friends houses.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become dependent on going to brandonds house to enjoy myself.
I forgive myself that Iha ve accepted and allowed myself to have become dependent on brandons company while at his house to experisnce self enjoyment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that Only if i go to brandons house ot hang out with brandon i can experisnce self enjoymant.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become obsessed over going to brandons house to enjoy myself.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have beomce dependent on brandons company.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belive that if i am in the company of my freinds that i am attatched to them, so to stop ging attached, assume that isolating myself from them would stop me form being attached.
I forgive myself that I ahve accepted and allowed myself to belive that Isolating myself form the expression of my friends would actually stop me from existing within and as a relationship with them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unable to realize that the relationshiop exist within and as me whether or not it exist, it depends on what i accept and allow to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have run away form my friends out fear of being in a relationship for that I have defined relationships as bad.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined relationships as bad.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined not being n relationships as good.
I forgive myself that Ihave accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the separation of judgement by creating a polarity construct with relationships being bad and not bing in a relation ship as good.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to this polarity construct of relationships being bad and not being in relationships as being good by running away from the relationships that I have assuming myself to be doing something good.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that I am of good and bad while within and as a relationship with friends.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself as separate from myself by existing within and as the idea that relationships are bad.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have ran away, instead of just facing myself, by isolating myself from my friends Brandon Jahlil and RJ.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have forcfully isolated myself from Brandon Jahlil and Rj because of an idea that I had about relationships being bad, not realizing that Brandon Jahlil and RJ have nothing to do with me bing within a realtionship, that it was I that accepted and llowed myself to exist within and define myself by hat relationship.

I take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed within me.
I face what I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me for that i have created it.
I amd self responsibility.

Mother Matrix system attraction

I have allowed myself to become attracted to Andrea. I have accepted and allowed myself to become attracted to the personality traits of andrea. I was reminded of my mother when seeing the interviews of Andrea. I was attracted to the assertiveness that Andrea expressed. I had allowed myself to become nervous to apply myself for this topic on this blog.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become attracted to andrea.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear applying myself on this blog for this specific topic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become attracted to andreas personality traits within and as the reminicence of the personality traits of my mother.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined andrea as attractive which means that i define other beings as unattractive.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowd myself to exist within and as the esixtensce of opinions by defining andrea as an opinion that i have created within and as atractiveness.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the enslavement to the mother matrix system by finding andrea and her personality traits that i had opinionated as attractive within and as the reminicence of my mother.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become nervous to apply myself and express myself within and as a topic that i never share in public regarding my attraction to other bings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged andrea as the personality traits of my mother.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare my mother to andrea which is actually me defining them both according to my own self created opinions.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define andrea and my mother according to opinioins.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined my mother and andrea as assertiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be attracted to assertiveness because i admire beings who are assertive.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as admiration.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to admiration.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to admire another being which is of the base of judgement and comparisson.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have desired to exist within and as the company of beings that I admire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belive that i need to exist within and as compny of being that i admire.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have enslaved myself to a desire for company for beings that i admire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to admirre beings within the expression of assertivness for that i had defined myself as unassertive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to other beings within and as assertivness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have compared myself to Andrea within and as assertiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have compared myself to my mother within and as the regard to assertiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from myself by defining myself according to comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself form myself by being attracted to Andrea within and as comparisson of myself to her and her to my mother.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become enslaved to the existence of the ego of the mind by letting myself be led by the accepted and allowed existence of comparisson.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowd myself to have separated myself from myself by allowing myself to be attracted to andrea for that she reminds me of my mother which had enslaved me to the mother matrix system of the mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from the mind by being enslaved by the mother matrix system of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have based myself and the way i see women as that of what i see through the enslavement to the mother matrix system, comparing women to my mothers personality traits and not existing within and as my own expression of myself withoiut the need to be told how to see by the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become leashed by the mind.

I am one and equal to Andrea
I am not the slave to the mother matrix system
I am not the slave to the ego of the mind within and as comparisson.
To compare is to self enslave.
Comparisson is of the mind.
I accept myself as myself, not as the slave to the mother matrix system.
I am equal to all, if i cant see it then im enslaved.
I am here.
When comparing other beings to other beings. STOP! It aint who I am. Breath and realize that comparisson is of the ego and following it is entrapping me to self surpression.
I am not self surpression.
I am Self- Expression.
And Realize, when Attracted to women, STOP! Check Myself, why am I attracted this person, where am i separating myself from this person.
Separation is of self dishonesty and self deception.
Stop. Breath. Forgive. Live.

Writing Myself to Freedom

Hello. My names Sean. This is me here writing myself to self freedom. Well, i have always been the kind of person that kept to myself and never reallly said anything anyone unless I had found them interesting. I have never actually expressed myself honestly publicly. I am here to just express myself as myself for first time in mylife through writing myself out to see myself for who I have actually become. The person that I hide away from myself. I can feel that there are things inside of me that I cover up. I have been covering up myself for a long time. There are just things inside of me that I have a habit of surpressing and am self honestly write in out here on this blog. Ive been in a process of realizing myself and I have actually seen a whole lot of me that I didnt know existed but I know that it really isnt everything or even close to everything. I have the habit of taking things and making an assumtion out of them instead of just taking things as they are without making an Idea out of it. For instance I have been process of realizing myself and had created an idea about how to realize myself and then labelized myself as someone who is realizing himself.
Honestly im allowing myself to nervous about writing on this blog. Im here thinking to myself what the hell? Its like once I have created this blog I had totally went braindead, enslaved to the mind. Its pretty strange the way my personality shifts when I do something one place and then attempt to do the same thing somewhere else, Guess this is what it means to be the same yesterday today and tomorrow anywhere you are.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of posting myself on this blog site.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allwed myself to surpress myself into the mind within and as fear becuase of judgements to myself with how i will express myself on this blog to public poepls,.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself by writing myself out entirely.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear actually seeing what the hell i have accepted and allowed myself to become.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become nervous for seeing who what and how I have became who I am today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear poeople judging me who dont know of or apply self forgiveness saying what the hell is he forgiving himself for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist witihin and as fear of being judged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for actually looking at myself and then comparing myself to other beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to beings who I assume do not apply self forgiveness, assuming that just because I apply self forgiveness that I am somehow different and special, separate from other beings.

I forgive myself that I have acccepted and allowed myself to separate myself from other beings because of an idea that I had created about their expressions of themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to comprimise myself by comparing myself to otherbings to make me feel better about applying self forgiveness on a blog.

I forgive myself that I have accpted and allowed myself to define myself according to comparing myself to beings who I assume dont apply self forgiveness and then believe that I am better than them because I am attempting to see myself, without realizing that within this comparison, i am actually surpressing myself within self dishonesty by enslaving myself to the ego of the mind, separating myself form myuself and sepaarating myself form onther beings.

I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to define other beings according to an idea that i have created about them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge other beings based off an idea about them that was based of my own self judgement within the desire to be self comprimised.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to cover up my nervousness to apply myself on this blog by comparing myself to other beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become nervous to apply self forgiveness on the internet.

I forgive myself that I hvae accepted and alloed myself to believe that applying myself on the internet is different form applying myself on papere.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself on the internet.

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear beings seeing my self forgiveness on the internet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have desired to keep my self forgiveness a secret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have desired to decieve other bings by putting up a form or a personality trait to hide who i really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when in public, surpress how I express myself.

i forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to just let go and be me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to just be me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear bing myself everywhere I go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to surpress myself withing the assumptions of being judged, not realizing that I amm totaly surpressing myself within my expression of myself by existing within and as fear.

I forgive myself that I ahve accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to fear of judgements which is really fear of self judgement.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear self judgement.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as self judgement by judging myself and my self expression as myself.

I am my self expression.
I am not defined by judging other being within and as judging myself regarding self forgiveness.
I am not defined by Judgments.
Judgments are of enslavement. I am not defined as a slave.
Self Forgiveness is me assisting and supporting me to see and realize me. IT IS NOT TO BE COMPARED. SELF CANNOT BE COMPARED TO SELF.
COMPARISSON IS OF JUDGMENT. JUDGMENT IS OF ENSLAVEMENT TO EGO.
I express me as me here.
I express me as me here on this blog.
I AM HERE AS ALL AS ME, Equal and one.